Acquiescence of abandoning the Abandoned

Days pass and brings those vexatious memories back again

The feeling of sharing you with your diabolical vagueness.

Appearing to be crystal clear in their invisible robes

Mocking me of not having you even when you're mine.

This feeling aggravates my desolation

Abandoning me in a clique of strangers.

The feeling of not possessing you disowns myself,

It flocks my tiny little head with innumerous possibilities.

Why couldn't I have you first ; arises sometimes,

But the dubiety of this false hope slaughters my inner conscience.

Finally locking myself in a room full of me,

I found that I don't yearn for you anymore.

You would come looking for me someday, I'm sure,

But we don't belong here, I don't belong here.

May be these tears will haunt me all my life,

But the contentment of convalescing from those blurry devilish memoirs makes me live

Makes me breathe in a blurry but aerated milieu.

I don't have to keep running  from those constant chasing shadows anymore.

Yes, I dont crave for you anymore,

Because I know I deserve a better life with a better someone.

I deserve my part of love, my part of the feeling of possessing someone.

And when you get tired frisking for me,

Return back with those empty feelings that I had all my life when with you.

Because this time you are the one Abandoned!!

Sometimes, it's better to let go, than to suffocate yourself in a clumsy ambience all your life.

Cuz you never know when it's time for the longing wait to end;

And you may overlook it, because you are busy in your tangled world.

Free yourself, from this tangled world and foresee the coming boons that are planned for you.

CEASELESS WAIT OF THE EVERLASTING JUNCTURE

An awaited desire of finally grasping that old sweet cheerful voice

That makes me live again

The voice of my heart couldn't cease those shaking hands

And there we were again

Articulating with a vigorously loud but silent voice

Voice of our hearts which we can just feel, can't hear

Heavy breaths flowing through the veins fast

Silence made me feel those lips which were once felt

Deep inside, my hands were again complete clunged in yours

Finally when about to hang up without moving our lips even an inch to utter any word

Realised that something was still unheard and unspoken

Through the fibres no matter how much feelings were conveyed

But still couldn't clutch all of those precious moments.

May be a lifetime is too small to feel each other again

It got proved that life is too small , not to live

But to live and spend every moment of it in your arms

But ending up with each other would have given an endless satisfaction

Still thinking and conveying the same heavy warm feelings

Couldn't stop the stubborn tears to fall down.

Didn't say even a hi, but an entire lifetime was planned and spent in those few minutes

Because with you, time ceases , this broken heart still skips a beat

And then, coming back to the real , which actually feels like a nightmare

With a heavy voice and a deep breath, acting to be formal

I start my next unending wait to hear that voice again

A wait that might never come to an end.

The Unforgivable Changes

I miss the way we held hands hiding from everyone surrounding us... 

I miss the way we flew to every horizons of the romance...

I miss the way you flirted with me every now and then...

I miss the way you caressed me with warm rigid hands yet giving me a soft touch..

Time flew away taking away all the chemistry..

Or is it just that our pace in life mismatched... 

And we just got flown away with the miseries and obstacles... 

Those beautiful and most cherishable moments once which melted us In them....I miss them...

Why can't we feel each other anymore... 

Why is there this boundary of glass,that we can see each other...

But can't feel.. Cnt hear our cries... 

Nor r we ready to accept this that we are moving apart... 

Being two, why are we still feeling the grim loneliness of having noone...

I want to trace the path back to the same old ways of our love and care...

But I'm lost,broken in the midst of nothing... 

Why can't you Hear my loud cries from my heart... 

I miss the way you mesmerise my inner soul to a heavenly feeling... 

Why cant I change back everything to the previous notion...

I wish this opaque bond turns to translucent someday... 

Where if I touch you with my lips, my heart can feel your warmth... 

Where if I clung my fingers in yours, I feel that generous completeness that I always felt... 

I just wish...(sighs)

And wish....!! 

REPERCUSSION OF DEVILRY

And there I rose above my old catacomb,

To find a new road to the deluding peace and happiness.

Forgot to erase the tears and the iniquitous deeds that I ever had in my antiquity

Corpses don't speak but the deeds don't vanish

And like a torrid mist came around embracing me

Didn't even get an opportunity to even breath an ounce of fresh air

Took me back to the same soggy grave

Where I kept on loosing myself in the swamp

Can't even cry out for my own self proclaimed me to be dead.

And yes then I found that once you embed yourself in devilry,

Not even the Almighty can erase those and not even your future boons.

FINALLY FREE

Disheartened by all the atrocious sobs of the closed ones

Confused about my whereabouts

Lost my reason of existence

Finally reached my supreme destination

My baffled heart got crippled

Knowing that the ultimate was my delusion

Finding myself lonely in this garden of corpses

Kept wandering lifeless yet breathing

Finally found an apt place to lay my living corpse

Gasping some last-minute fresh air

Hibernating myself in an indefinite long silence

In an expectation of fulfilment and thinking of those childhood sweet dreams

Which turned out to be fake ..

Last drops touching my cheeks and I’m free…

Free from all these materialistic desires…

At last finally free…

My Last breath in you

I had to let go this unadorned strings of memoirs

Breathing in these was strangling me to extinction

My sobs couldn’t entice the tenacious feelings of ripping off these delicate strands

And stone heartedly, I abdicated those precious chunks of my heart to the unknown infinity

Bleeding through tremendous pain, my heart yelled

But still those vacant hands were left deserted

Tears dropping through my cheeks mesmerized my days of being cared and loved

By those rigid yet soft hands of that atrocious and angelic figure.

That Ambiguous shadow faded in the dark

Abandoning me like an orphan with the bright light of being adopted by an invisible hope

Telling me these cruel last words,

I will always be there in your heart, alive by your smile

In your soul, alive by your happiness

In your eyes, till you hold these precious drops of water in them,

And in your life, till you remain optimistic and keep moving…

Listening to these , that faded shadow disappeared

Didn’t pay any heed to my last breath and me saying

‘Dear , plz freeze your moving steps , I cant smile because you are taking the reason for it,

I cant be happy cuz you are my entire world of happiness,

I cant stop crying because they are falling in the expectation of you to wipe them as you always did

And you were my optimistic charm’

And here my last words drifted away to him, and till he could reach and grasp me

Yay… till he could grasp, I laid smiling at his face, happy for living with him

And those stubborn tears still on the cheeks … looking at him.. still….

and still..... 

Taking my breath you crushed away my purity
And here now you stand staring at me...
While loosing my self
all to your serenity
Y did i not use d instru that lies above in my head...
N now here i lie all lifeless,contented of your jilts n betrayals
With a sly smile of freedom from all these materialistic feelings...
Will come bck some day wen the almighty will order me and assure me that i will never see you again...
When he will assure me that you no longer need my presence in your complete life..
N here wid my last breaths in your arms, in your life
This final adieu to the life that i hve longed and craved for...
ALL my LiFe....

#feelingNUMB&LIfeLess